


Ride Me

by FoxSaintJust



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Crack, Daddy Kink, Heathers References, M/M, Purple Prose, Sex, Slash, Song: Dead Girl Walking (Reprise), badly written sex, steamy romance novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 09:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19016797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxSaintJust/pseuds/FoxSaintJust
Summary: Gideon decides to ride Rakdos in a very different manner. Beware of badly written sex, a willing abuse of flowery terms and gratuitous references to Heathers.“People will talk if we keep meeting with such frequency and in such compromising places” he said as the planeswalker sat on the side of the bed. “I have a reputation to maintain.”“The reputation of a reveling maniac.”“A reputation nonetheless. Also, I’m not the one who enters other people’s places like a Dimir in the night.”A smirk crossed Gideon’s face. “I thought that you liked my way of entering.”“What a scoundrel.” With a sharp nail, Rakdos traced lightly the outline of Gideon’s chest. “I should carve an A on your body so that everyone could see you for what you truly are.”“Lucky for me, I’m thick-skinned.”





	Ride Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Valpur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valpur/gifts).



> So, this is my first (probably only) fanfiction with explicit sex, and there was only one way to write it: by creating the most ludicrous situation I could think of. I hope you like it.

The demon woke up in the middle of the night, feeling that a slight breeze was caressing his body like the delicate touch of a lover that he had been dreaming up to that point.

Rakdos looked around, wondering from where that gust could come from. He was sure he had closed every window in his lair, given that the winter on Ravnica could become rather harsh for a fire-blooded demon to endure – that, and he preferred to sleep covered only by an almost transparent silk nightgown.

The demon’s eyes pierced through the darkness, finally finding a window left ajar. And yet, Rakdos was sure to have closed it personally. How could it…

“I hope I didn’t scare you.”

A voice made Rakdos turn his head. Instinctively, the demon held close the hems of his nightgown, as if to unconsciously preserve the last remainder of virtue left in his body. But he quickly relaxed: at the end of the bed, hidden by the darkness in which the demon lord liked to bask, stood a familiar silhouette.

“In a dark, stormy night comes a tall, dark and handsome stranger” commented Rakdos. “You’re late, Gideon.”

“I wish we could talk in the light.”

Rakdos answered his guest’s wish by breathing fire into two braziers that stood at the sides of his bed. In their light, the tanned skin on Gideon’s chest – half uncovered by a loose shirt that the planeswalker had bothered to botton up only halfway – looked almost golden. His dark hair was falling freely on his shoulders, giving him a wild look that Rakods secretly hoped to see more often.

The demon gestured Gideon to come closer.

“People will talk if we keep meeting with such frequency and in such compromising places” he said as the planeswalker sat on the side of the bed. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

“The reputation of a reveling maniac.”

“A reputation nonetheless. Also, I’m not the one who enters other people’s places like a Dimir in the night.”

A smirk crossed Gideon’s face. “I thought that you liked my way of entering.”

“What a scoundrel.” With a sharp nail, Rakdos traced lightly the outline of Gideon’s chest. “I should carve an A on your body so that everyone could see you for what you truly are.”

“Lucky for me, I’m thick-skinned.”

“Don’t push your luck, darling. You don’t want to kill the mood, do you?”

All of a sudden, Gideon stood up and Rakdos feared to have put him off. However, the planeswalker merely walked to the pandemonium recorder on which Rakdos liked to listen to an accurately chosen collection of finely tuned screams of agony mixed with soaring melodies of mayhem.

“Speaking of mood, I have a little idea to liven it up.”

Gideon pushed a button and a tune unknown to Rakdos filled the air. The planeswalker started humming along with the music before proving to have a rather deep and intense singing voice.

“ _The dragon god of Ravnica decreed it / He said the next attack I’ll be deleted / They’ll hunt me down the Senate hall / Stuff and mount me on the wall / Only one night to live, how should I spend it?_ ”

The light was glimmering pleasantly on his luscious hair, Rakdos thought. With another breath, he lit the skeletal chandelier hanging above the bed.

“ _I don’t have to be a draft evader / I could take a chance and strike down the invader / But I don’t have road to hike… wait / Here’s an option that I like / Spend this one last night getting freaky!_ ”

Gideon tore off his shirt, and somehow he had already oiled up a bit or perhaps it was merely his sweat that was glistening in the sweltering firelight, but Rakdos wouldn’t have minded too much about it anyway.

The planeswalker started swaggering towards the bed with an undoubtedly lascivious look in his golden eyes.

_“Sorry but I really had to wake you / See, I decided I must ride you till I break you / ‘Cause Bolas wants to punch my clock / But I could use that demon co…_ ”

“I think I’ve got it, thanks.”

Gideon jumped on the mattress with the untamed ferocity of a sleek panther. “ _Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whities!”_

“Actually, I’m wearing nothing under this”. With calculated, seductive movements, Rakdos started peeling of the oh so translucent silk nightgown.

_“You know just what it takes / Come one and taste my protein shake / Bow down to the will of a dead planeswalker…”_

Gideon took off his pants and the moment hit both of them: they were there, naked before each other’s eyes, with a sense of clumsy innocence that mingled strangely well with the fiery contrast that reigned between their colours.

With a delicate touch despite his leathery, slightly calloused hands, the planeswalker traced the contour of Rakdos’ left horn down to his taurine neck. The music became slower and softer.

“ _And you know, you know, you know / It’s cause you’re beautiful / You say you’re numb inside…”_

He raised this right index with a mischievous grin, ready to violate the most intimate blossom of the Defiler. “ _… but I can’t agree._ ”

It wasn’t an invasion however, at least initially. Gideon took his time to make sure that Rakdos was feeling comfortable enough, which, for a literally flamboyant devil, didn’t require a lot of waiting. Then the incursion left place to an actual onslaught, and Gideon was glad to be so impervious to physical damage, given that the temperature of the demon’s inner cavern of wayward pleasure was scorching.

The music soared again.

_“Slap me, pull my hair / Touch me there and there and there”_

And again, the planeswalker was pleased by how much his body was standing the sizzling touch running all over his skin. Still he risked to be slammed against the wall when the slap arrived, not that it was particularly bothering him. Quite the opposite, in fact.

As Gideon was licking a drop of sweat that was running on his upper lip, Rakdos looked at that Mediterranean scoundrel and, with a voice heaving as much as his bosom, commented: “Don’t you ever dream of riding me again, Jura. I don’t concede such luxuries twice.”

A new smirk crossed Gideon’s lips. “Then I’ll have to enjoy this ride as much as I can.”

He lifted his hands from the spots on the mattress at the sides of Rakdos’ head and said: “You know what they say in the place I come from? You’ve got to grab the bull by the horns.”

And with his steady hands, he grabbed the demon’s horns. Rakdos grabbed his strong forearms and tried to pry them away but he clearly wasn’t putting much effort in that attempt. Gideon started thrusting heavily his purple-headed ram inside the tight black hole of depravation.

Later, as he was lying on the bed, Gideon had to thank his own resistance for the third time that night when Rakdos chirpily announced “My turn now” and easily flipped the planeswalker on his stomach.

As the incandescent spear was touching the tanned skin of Gideon’s backside – it wasn’t uncommon on Theros for men to eschew the prudishness of underwear during several activities that could be easily labeled as “male bonding”, and such activities included sunbathing – Rakdos cleared his throat.

“Gideon?” he asked in a hoarse, husky voice.

“Yes?”

“Since you come from a plane which puts a rather disturbingly emphasis on family issues and inbred gods…”

“… yes?”

“Would you mind to call me Daddy while we’re getting it on?”


End file.
